Guide to Rescuing a Troubled Marriage
Marriages, like every other kind of partnership, are not without difficulties. However, it is only when couples cannot address these marital issues that their relationship reaches rock bottom. There are several clear indications that a marriage is on the rocks and about to end. If you detect any of these symptoms, you must move quickly to preserve your marriage.
Several relationships end as soon as they begin. When infatuation fades (as it always does), disappointment sets in. Without being blinded by love, you see each other for who you are. Everything is fine when you’re compatible; when you’re not, disappointment builds, egos collide, and relationships become unpleasant. Even suitable couples may grow too comfortable in their relationship. They may grow bored, begin to take their spouse for granted, or even turn unfaithful due to new sexual encounters.
External circumstances, such as meddling from family members or a financial crisis, may also impact relationships. Some may be concerned because they cannot carry a child, while others may be dealing with the beginning of a fatal disease or handicap.
Every relationship goes through difficulties that put partners and their connection to the test. However, no matter what the situation, there are always methods to settle disputes and remain strong. The way a pair reacts to and manages difficulties often determines the destiny of a relationship. Let’s examine how to keep love alive amid adversity.
Let It All Out
When a relationship becomes strained, negative feelings are more likely to take center stage. Within, one feels dread, uncertainty, sorrow, and rage, clouding judgment and making individuals unable to think logically. In his blog on negative emotions, psychologist and influencer Dr. Todd Hall say, “When we feel negative emotions in response to a circumstance or catch them from others, we tend to pass them on to others, leading to a downward negative cycle.”
Dr. Hall offers a few suggestions for breaking away from this pattern. To begin, determine the inflection points—a list of situations that often elicit negative emotions. Once we’ve identified them, we may prepare ahead of time how we’ll react to them. Second, begin to empathize with ourselves. More importantly, the more we understand why we feel bad and get to the core source of these feelings, the more we will manage them.
Keep Your Ears Open
In relationships, we often criticize our spouse while seeing ourselves as the victim. However, it may be both ways only that we are often oblivious to our flaws and our partner’s pain. Empathy is one method to become more aware of our partners’ difficulties. It allows us to see things from our partner’s point of view and walk in their shoes without passing judgment; empathy broadens our minds and aids in developing compassion.
Empathy is the core of the relationship; the relationship will struggle to exist without it. According to Carin Goldstein, a clinical psychologist and certified marital and family therapist from Los Angeles, this is because empathy necessitates compassion. And the more empathetic we are, the stronger our connection with our spouse becomes.
By following a process that leads to better overall marital satisfaction, better communication, and a strengthened partnership, couples can reap the benefits of an improved overall strategy, the absence of arguments that lead to resentment, better parent-child relationships, and greater trust and communication in the marriage.
When they have lost objectivity, most couples find it difficult to list all the problems they encounter. This means that each partner is often burdened with their answer and believes that the issue would be addressed if the other person just viewed it their way. When problems are made worse, couples often get well-intentioned counsel from close friends or family members that may sometimes be helpful. Still, they have too often oversimplified the problem without considering the relationship’s dynamic or history.
The significant difference in therapy and getting help from marriage counselors is that there is more objectivity in marriage counseling because of the accumulation of more information regarding patterns and issues unique to the couple, guaranteeing that the solution is based on a deeper understanding of the problem and that it fits the couple.
Many of us are afraid of being single after being in a relationship for a long time. Because of this anxiety, we often go to great lengths to preserve the connection. Of course, compromise is the lubricant that keeps a partnership running smoothly. When a relationship is in trouble, it is more important to practice give and take. However, this does not imply that we should bend over backward.
If we give away our identity, morality, values, and convictions in the name of compromise, the relationship will inevitably fail. So, make fair bargains and compromises.